Category: Humor

How did the F-word get its bad rap?

I’m confused. If the letter F/f had a voice, it would protest! After all, is every:

  • pumpkin orange? 
  • dog a Yorkie? 
  • parent a mother? 

NO…  

And yet, somehow all the words that begin with the letter F/f have been clumped together and disparaged. Not all words that begin with F/f are bad; not all words that begin with F/f can be called an F-word.  

So, I am taking a stand against this generalization for my forlorn friend, the letter F/f. In my world, some very nice, gentle, comforting words begin with F/f and the Thanksgiving holiday here in The Hollow is a perfect time to take a closer look at this problem.

  • Thanksgiving is my number one, most favorite holiday! It is smack in the middle of my favorite season, fall! I look into my yard at the colorful foliage, my scampering foxes, and a fanciful family of deer.
  • Let’s start close to home. I love that this wonderful holiday brings my fabulous family together and I have the opportunity to feed them. 
  • What is better about Thanksgiving than all the delicious food? More than food, this is a feast! I am so fond of the star of the table, that fine, fresh fowl known as turkey.
  • I am so happy to get flour on my nose while rolling out pie crusts for an assortment of flavorful pies. Pumpkin is my favorite and apple is my fruit of choice.
  • If I am lucky, it will be chilly enough for us to sit on the floor around a crackling fire and enjoy the dancing flames while we tell funny stories and share memories.
  • When I think about giving thanks, I always include my fellowship of faithful friends.
  • Put all this together and what do you have? Nothing formal, just some FUN!

My point is that F/f is a friendly, fabulous, fine, formidable letter and we should treat it favorably; with the respect it deserves. I speak for the letter  F/f when I say “thanks in advance for your consideration!”

What were they thinking?

There’s something about the airport that just gets me thinking. I have always been a “people watcher”, and what more ideal people watching spot than the middle of the Hartsfield International Airport in Atlanta? This is one of the biggest and busiest airports in the world. It is just crawling with people all milling about. They’re rushing from one flight to the next, hustling to make connections, talking on the phone, eating lukewarm fast food on the run, and doing all this while dragging half their earthly possessions behind them in luggage on wheels.

But, I digress. Back to my original thought – there’s just something about an airport. Somehow with all the bustling about folks get lulled into thinking they are invisible. Where were their families and friends when they got dressed this morning? I guess these fashion failures figure if they don’t know anyone it doesn’t matter how they look.

Today the airport promenade was like a parade of bad fashions I’ve lived long enough to regret! Let’s see… first, who stitches madras triangles into old, torn up blue jeans to create bell bottoms? No one I’ve known since 1966 when I was listening to the Mamas and Papas. 

Beehive hairdos? Haven’t seen one in years! Saw one today…still looks like a ratty mess!

Furry lavender sweater clips? Who knew! “It can’t be so!” you’re thinking, but sadly, it is. I remember my mom wearing sweater clips back in the 1950s and I even had a pair of mink ones when I was about ten (1958). I thought I was the neatest thing since sliced bread! However, that was 59 years ago. I think this person was trying to channel June Lockhart! (You’re too young to know who she is. You can look her up or make a mental picture of the cast of Father Knows Best, Leave It to Beaver, or Lassie). I just can’t imagine where she would have gotten them…antique store? eBay? Aunt Millie’s junk drawer? That will remain a mystery. 

Oh, and when was the last time you saw someone go out with curlers in their hair? Not just curlers, but the ones the size of soup cans! Let’s see, what else did I see? 

Well, there was the “Bedazzler Gone Bad!” pair of blue jeans. I can’t imagine how she sat down. Her behind was covered with the sparklers; it must feel like a pin cushion! 

And then, just to round out the day, there was the florescent blue eye shadow. Now that’s a real fashion statement…from the 1970s when I was listening to Jethro Tull and the Moody Blues while wearing my way cool madras insert bell bottoms!

BWAHAHAHA!!! Don’t you just LOVE the airport?

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