Category: Gratitude

Looking in the Rearview Mirror…

Each morning, I have a app on my iPad that collects all the pictures I have taken on that date going back to my first digital device. Today as I was looking at the snapshots, these frozen moments in time, I began to think about what it means in our lives to look back and look ahead.  

I have always loved New Year’s Eve; I look forward to the new chapter, the fresh start given to me by a new year…a blank slate of sorts. Yesterday, the app found a couple of pictures and a jubilant post I had shared out at about 11:55 p.m. on December 31, 2013.  In my New Year’s Eve excitement, I shared the pictures and wrote this: “Join me as I bid farewell to 2013 and eagerly welcome 2014. Each of you has enriched my life and I am so thankful to be sharing this time and space with you. Let’s take time to look back on the year past and reflect on what was…learn and grow from those experiences. And now, let’s look ahead to all the adventures awaiting us. May your 2014 be a wonderful year filled with friends, family, and fun!”

I was so happy that night sitting beside my husband of 44 years; we were snacking on delicious and beautiful nibbles, sipping champagne, and toasting in the new year with my son and his wife. At midnight I called my sister; I spoke with her and my mom to wish them a wonderful new year. This was my New Year’s Eve ritual, something I had done every year. All was right with the world in that joy-filled moment.

What didn’t I know? As I laughed, clinked glasses, and toasted the excitement of the year to come, I had no idea that death would claim both my mother and my husband that year.  Yet, in the space of 10 weeks, they were both gone. So, the reality was that 2014 turned out to be a most difficult, sad, and challenging year.

Fast forward to New Year’s Eve 2019; as we watched the ball drop in Times Square, none of us had any idea that we were about to be faced with a worldwide pandemic of terrifying proportions. At no point in time do any of us have knowledge of what is waiting for us in the next point in time. Each minute remains a mystery until we live it.

Yes, we have control over much of what happens in our lives, but our most pivotal events are typically orchestrated by God’s hand, not ours. I have always believed that not knowing protects us from fear and sadness.  I suspect that if I had known what was in my future, I would have shut down, simply frozen, awaiting the inevitable, rather than living a life filled with silly moments, new friendships, travel adventures, job changes, and knowing me, lots of giggles.

Today I am in a new place.  I think about my mother often, but the experience of losing her has helped me grow as a parent. Even though my son is an adult, I realize that I can continue to work at being the best version of myself. When I am comfortable in my own skin, I am a better mother. As a strong, confident parent, I continue to teach my son how to be a  loving husband, how to have a good work ethic, about patience in relationships, and how to look for joy in even the smallest moments.

I miss my husband and will always hold him in my heart, but I have found joy again in a new and loving relationship. This relationship is stronger because of what I have been through. Tragedy forced me to examine who I am and how to move forward. I had to get tough – pump my own gas, eat alone at the sushi bar, overcome my fear of heights and climb the ladder to change the lightbulb, balance the checkbook, wander through the maze of probate court and Social Security…the list goes on. Today, the woman I bring to all my relationships is changed… more confident, more resilient, more balanced because of the struggle brought about by loss.

So, knowing what I know now, would I change the post from 2013? At midnight on December 31, 2021, did I still look ahead to 2022 with joyful anticipation? The answer is unequivocally YES! I will strive to treasure each moment, each person, each relationship, each adventure.

I encourage you to stop for a moment and flip through the pages of your life. Look at your mental snapshots of the places, the family, the friends, even the pets who surround you. You and I, we are richly blessed!

Photo by Dimitry Zub on Unsplash

One memorable Thanksgiving…

Meet Tater

The Saga of Tater…

Like a lot of people, my school experience resembled a roller coaster ride…it was filled with happy highs and not-so-happy lows. Normally I keep all school-based memories safely tucked away and deeply hidden in my memory bank. 

For some reason, the approach of Thanksgiving this year has unlocked a long forgotten experience from my elementary school days, and this fleeting moment has floated to the surface. In 1954, my dad was in the military and stationed at the Pentagon. I was 6 years old and we were living in Virginia for a few months. 

My memory of this community is filled with rolling fields and farm land. While we were living there, I attended a small K-12 school situated in this mostly rural area. The entire school had fewer than 100 students, and just one teacher per grade level. I was in first grade. 

On this particularly special day, I have a clear memory of our play yard bathed in sunshine, blessed with beautiful, clear blue Autumn skies, and a scattering of trees wearing golden, scarlet, and bronze crowns. 

Apparently, the school’s Head Master had let the teachers know that all students were to assemble in the play yard at a pre-determined time that morning. My first grade mind remembers our class being lined up and led to the yard in a flurry of excitement. This was an unusual event and cause for lots of whispered speculation among all the students, even the upper classmen!

Picture this…

There in the center of the play yard behind the painted hopscotch grid stood the Head Master and a TURKEY! Yes, you read that correctly…a living, breathing, gobbling turkey. The principal introduced us to Tater, the first turkey I had ever seen.  

Now, if this were to happen in a school today, I expect parents would be up in arms that the children were being traumatized. But this was 1954. Head Master went on to tell us, with overly dramatic gestures, that poor Tater was doomed to end up as someone’s Thanksgiving dinner. We were advised that it was our job to save him; we were challenged us to come up with a plan to save Tater from his fate as a Thanksgiving entrée.

I remember frantically trying to come up with an idea. I had nothing! My six-year-old brain drew a total blank! I think I ended up writing that they should eat extra vegetables. Lame, I know, but in spite of my less-than-stellar suggestion, that day was special. 

The students across all grade levels banded together with common purpose to fight a common battle… Save Tater! Student engagement was at an all-time high and collaboration was everywhere. I don’t remember my teacher’s name, I don’t remember the Head Master’s name, but the turkey’s name was Tater! Human nature was at its best that day and I learned a valuable life lesson. When we work together, when we are united for a common cause, we can achieve goals and exceed expectations. 

I belong to a group, Driven to Wellness, that is a great example of this theory in action. Our members live across and beyond the country, we are of different ages and stages of life, we come from different backgrounds, and multiple races. Members are facing many different challenges, but have a common goal: living a healthy, happy, fulfilled life. This common vision unites us and is consistently evident in the posts here on our page. When the world feels overwhelming, this is where I find respite. 

During times of national tragedy such as September 11, the Boston Marathon, the Pulse Nightclub attack (and many others), our country united and banded together to fight a common battle. My prayer this Thanksgiving is that we, as a nation, find a way to do this without waiting for a horrific event to spur us to action. Each of us can find a cause in our own community that allows us to feel love, passion and commitment; to collaborate and engage for the betterment of ourselves and our neighbors.

But, let’s get back to Tater. You are probably wondering whether or not we saved Tater from a ghastly demise. Well, Head Master neglected to tell us that Tater was actually a beloved pet. He was named Tater because his family would eat nothing but potatoes before they would ever eat him! So, Tater had a happy ending, and so does this post.  Have a Healthy and Happy Thanksgiving filled with great food, good friends, loving family, and plenty of fun!!!

The Colors of Thanksgiving

It may surprise you to know that we Americans are not the only people to enjoy a celebration dedicated to giving thanks. 

  • Long before Europeans arrived in North America, the Indigenous Peoples had celebrated the harvest with autumnal festivals.
  • Canada’s first Thanksgiving celebration happened in 1578, several decades before the one at Plymouth. Today, Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving on the second Monday in October each year.  
  • In Japan, citizens celebrate Kinro Kansha no Hi (Labor Thanksgiving Day) on November 23rd each year. On this national holiday, people are encouraged to focus on the value of hard work and community service. Children celebrate the day by making cards for local police, firefighters, and other community helpers. 
  • The German equivalent of Thanksgiving is Erntedankfest, which translates to “harvest festival of thanks”. 
  • Surprisingly, there are people in the the Dutch city of Leiden who celebrate Thanksgiving. Some of the Pilgrims leaving England traveled to North America on the Mayflower, but some stayed behind in Leiden. Today, the people of Leiden still celebrate their connection to the Mayflower’s passengers by having church services on the fourth Thursday of November.
  • Americans have spread the idea of Thanksgiving around the world to places like Norfolk Island in the Pacific Ocean, Grenada, Puerto Rico, and Liberia.

Step back a moment and think about the people on this list who are celebrating Thanksgiving; from the Netherlands ~ to Japan ~ to Liberia, they come in all colors. 

Now, look around you at nature.  During the Autumn months, everything slows down and the vibrant green colors of summer begin to change.  Days are shorter, temperatures drop, and the Earth blankets us with a quilt of reds, oranges, yellows, and browns.  These colors just feel cozy, don’t they?  

It is not a surprise that when we look at the traditional North American Thanksgiving feast spread out on the table, we see many of the same colors. First, there is the glistening brown turkey, dressing, and warm gravy. Surrounding them you may see dark green broccoli, warm orange butternut squash, yellow rutabaga, creamy mashed potatoes, and ruby red cranberry sauce.  When we eat what the Earth provides, we find that the colors of nature are reflected in our food.

I conclude that Thanksgiving is a holiday that reminds us to be the best version of ourselves; to look up from our devices, slow down, give thanks, show kindness, have gratitude, and breathe. Let us join together to give thanks for the beautiful colors around us…in the people, in nature’s colorful display, in the bounty of food. For the gifts of the Earth, give thanks. 

Photo of trees by Dennis Buchner on Unsplash

Photo of feast by Christopher Ryan on Unsplas

Photo of pumpkins by Joseph Gonzalez on Unsplash

Photo of turkey by Meelika Marzzarella on Unsplash

Gentle November

Beautiful Autumn

Nestled between October and December is the month of November.  November allows us to glory in the colors of Autumn, the Earth’s brightest smile. I love November! 

November is when we take a breath; we relax and focus on gratitude and the blessings we enjoy. As a child, I loved this time of year. We raked, jumped in leaf piles, put on sweaters, and we enjoyed bedtime stories more because it was dark outside.

As though November isn’t already perfect enough, it brings us Thanksgiving.  In my opinion, Thanksgiving is just a perfect holiday. It is such an unassuming and gentle holiday; Thanksgiving is when I focus on the things I cherish…on gratitude for precious family, wonderful friends, yummy food, and fun.

I bask in my “over the river and through the woods” Thanksgiving memories. Thanksgiving reminds me to be grateful for what I have and to do for others…to be the good in someone else’s life.  

During November, the Earth slows down and settles into the coming of Winter. Days are shorter, trees drop their leaves, animals hibernate or migrate. Nature knows it is time to settle in.  

November is a chance for us all to step back, take a deep breath, and focus on how we fit into the world. Everything calms down; there is no racing about, no shopping frenzy, no chaos.  The worst thing that happens is a post-turkey tryptophan-induced nap.

I love shopping for just the perfect, plump turkey. I get excited to smell pumpkin pies baking. I bake loaves of bread for the stuffing, I simmer autumn spices in the potpourri pot, I fill my house with pumpkins and gourds, and I relax. I spend time focusing on my gratitude…and I have so much to be thankful for.

Many of my friends already have their homes decorated for Christmas. I respect everyone’s right to do what feels right for them, but I refuse to sacrifice this time that allows me to just be still.  December will come and I will put up a tree, wrap gifts, and enjoy the twinkle.  For now, I am content to be fully present in my gentle November. 

Turkey Leftovers

I hate wasting food, don’t you?  To me, throwing away food is just awful.  To start with, I might as well just take my hard-earned paycheck and put it in the garbage disposal along with the shriveled tomato, wilted lettuce, or moldy cucumbers.

I remember hearing my mother say that I had to eat everything on my plate because there were children in the world who were starving.  This typically invoked a response from me that included some well-known preteen eyeball rolling.  But, like so many other things in my life, as an adult, I view things differently and have to admit that I agree. How dare I waste food when there are mothers all over the world watching their children waste away from starvation?

If I lived alone, I would live life as a vegetarian; it really bothers me that animals have to perish in order for me to eat a meal.  I resolve my emotional conflict over this issue by making absolutely certain that I never waste meat. Before I purchase meat, I have a plan in place for how I will use it all.

Thanksgiving turkey is a perfect example. Like everyone, we eat leftovers. I always have a menu planner on my iPad and once the turkey is consumed my planner has a

img_0353lot of turkey items lined up. We make hot leftover turkey plates, hot or cold turkey sandwiches, turkey salad, and finally turkey soup. The turkey soup is important to me because I eke out every bit of nourishment from the turkey.

Today is turkey soup day and it makes me happy to make this big pot of comfort food for my family.  Paired with a fresh, warm loaf of homemade bread, nothing seems better.  This afternoon as I simmered the turkey with carrots, onions, celery, and a bundle of fresh herbs, I took a moment to feel thankfulness and gratitude for my ability to provide nourishing food for my family.

So, for me and my family, the true message of Thanksgiving is not wasted, nor is any turkey.  And so, I say, “For the creatures of this Earth, I give thanks.”

Kindness Doesn’t Cost


November 13th, is World Kindness Day. The person associated with this concept is Mr. Fred Rogers, and so we are being asked to wear a cardigan to celebrate kindness and to honor the gentle soul of Mr. Rogers.

My son grew up watching Mr. Rogers with me and I loved his show for a couple of reasons. First, it was calm. There were no loud noises to startle us, people spoke to one another in a pleasant tone, and there was a simplicity to it that I found comforting. Mr. Rogers taught values, decency and understanding. I suspect that Fred Rogers would be pretty disheartened were he to spend about an hour on any one of today’s social media platforms.

Promoting kindness is not a new idea. Buddha is quoted as saying, “When words are both true and kind, they can change the world.” Sadly, the lack of civility has run so rampant in our world today that we have to declare a day for kindness. Really? We need to put a day in our calendar to remind us to be kind? That in itself is concerning.

I am a strong believer that the Universe gives back to us what we focus upon; I try to keep my focus on gratitude and the goodness in the world. So, here’s my bottom line. I will wear a cardigan to honor of and in respect for Fred Rogers. I will NOT wear it to remind myself to be kind. Tomorrow and every day I try to practice kindness.

Did you know that kindness isn’t just a social thing? True! Kindness is a physical thing too. Researchers have determined that acts of kindness release hormones that make us feel good, reduce anxiety, and lower stress. People report that being kind increases happiness and the doctors tell us that increased happiness can actually lead to a healthier heart. Apparently, people who are consistently kind age more slowly, have better relationships, and stronger connections with friends and family.

My father used to tell me that people can’t help the face they are born with, but they earn the face they die with. Have you noticed that the face of a person who lives angry and bitter is noticeably different from the face of a person who spends life smiling, loving, and laughing? Look around…I promise, it’s true!

As Mr. Rogers said, “There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” Think about it, kindness doesn’t cost a thing and it is a lot less painful than a facelift!

Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash

Seeking Gratitude

I live in south Georgia in a county with coastal waters; the Governor has declared our county in a State of Emergency ahead of Hurricane Dorian.  Hurricanes are not unfamiliar, we have faced Matthew and Irma in the last few years, but no matter how often, I always feel anxious.  

Today we are praying and preparing as Dorian heads our way.  The “cone of uncertainty” is so frustrating and seems designed to add to my stress…Should we evacuate? Should we stockpile water and ice? Should we believe it is going to miss us?  We have no answers, and I hate feeling out of control.

So, within this stress, I try to tap into my gratitude.  Today, I realized I was grateful for so many things I take for granted:

  • Having a husband who is my partner.
  • My son and his wife, who live just a few minutes away.
  • My freezer is full of food and I worry about losing the food in the freezer if the power goes out. How can I not feel blessed to have “extra” food to keep in a freezer? 
  • Being forced to clean out the refrigerator and the pantry; if we lose power, there will be fewer things to spoil.  As I do so, I think about families who go to bed hungry at night worrying about finding the next meal.
  • Water!  I am busy stockpiling water. Staying hydrated is one of my daily health challenges.  Today, my gratitude is great; so many people in the world do not have access to clean, safe drinking water and here I am stacking up a tower of bottled water.
  • Transportation…We always have “Clean the garage” on the To Do list; now we have to do it to make room for our cars. This reminds me that I am so grateful to have two cars that need to be moved into the garage! 
  • I am dreading the possible loss of power; it gets HOT here in the deep South.  Yet, today I realize I must be grateful that I have air conditioning to lose! 
  • Seeing the good in people; when faced with adversity, people step up to help neighbors. So many friends and family have already reached out to offer us shelter if needed. I am richly blessed.
  • Our first responders and linemen are already cueing up to help anyone in need. They leave their families to help others under the worst conditions.  

Yes indeed, I am richly blessed. There are so many things that aren’t on this list, but it is a good start. One thing I know for sure is that keeping a grateful mindset attracts joy!  So for today I choose gratitude. What are you feeling grateful for today? 

A New Chapter

Back-to-School is always so bittersweet. I can barely sleep the night before because I am so excited to meet my new flock of students, but when the alarm goes off at “zero dark thirty”, I groan and wonder why I put myself through this.

Why do I put myself through this? Easy…27 or so fresh young faces looking at me expectantly…eager to learn, excited to explore, wondering what this year will bring.

This time of year can be sooooo hectic … there is so much to organize and somehow administrators always take time away from us for meetings. There is so much to do in the classrooms; that’s why the school parking lot is full of cars even before school opens…they are all busy trying to get classroom bulletin boards displayed, name tags on desks, welcoming hallway decorations in place.

Over my long career, I managed to put together some items that I am sharing with teachers on Teachers Pay Teachers at my Chalk Dust and Dreams Back to School Store. Check them out!

Black Friday…good name!

I blogged about the fact that for many the Christmas season now begins the day after Halloween.  Today, I am reflecting on the fact that Black Friday is certainly a dark day… “black” indeed. 

My children work in retail. Today is Thanksgiving, but I will not be sitting down to a lovely meal with my family.  No, my children have to leave at noon to get to their retail establishments because the shopping frenzy begins at 2:00 p.m.

Why? Because Black Friday is no longer a day; it has spread like a vicious virus into a week, perhaps even a month. Black FRIDAY begins at 2:00 p.m. on THURSDAY.  This gentle holiday of thanksgiving has morphed into a day of unmitigated greed.  

Are people sitting around the table lingering over coffee and pie, chatting and reminiscing?  Why no!  We are frantically focused on our Smartphones checking shopping apps for alerts that let us know where the best deals will be.  What next?  A race to the mall to fight the crowds, run up credit card bills, and load up on more “stuff”.  

Today was meant to be a day that families revel in each other, celebrate life, create wonderful memories, and reflect on life’s blessings.  So, when making the decision to race away from your family to run to the stores, think about the fact that life is so short.  When we find ourselves at the end of life, I promise we don’t think about how lucky we are to have accumulated a lot of stuff.  In that moment, it is about family and friends.  

I will NOT be in the stores today or even tomorrow.  I will be home snuggled up in front of the fire sipping a cup of apple cider. For my family, friends, and the gifts of the Earth, I give thanks. 

I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.

To everything there is a season…

aut12_pileofleavesAs a child, I would get so excited for Halloween; costumes, candy, how can it get any better?  I would look forward to this one night for a month!  The month of October was a blur of excitement! This same pattern would repeat itself for the entire month of December. What child doesn’t love all the excitement of Christmas? The month of December raced by! Leading up to the big day there were Advent calendars, cookie exchanges, gift shopping, gift wrapping, tree trimming, enchanting store windows, and finally Midnight Mass.  Basically, December was another blur!

Nestled between October and December is the month of November.  November allowed us to glory in the Earth’s brightest smile. November is when we all took a breath; we relaxed and focused on gratitude and the blessings we enjoyed. We raked, jumped in leaf piles, put on sweaters, and went enjoyed bedtime stories more because it was dark outside.

As though November wasn’t already perfect enough, it brings us Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving is such a perfect holiday; it is all about food and friends and family.  It is calm. There is no racing about, no shopping frenzy, no chaos.  The worst thing that happens is a post-turkey tryptophan-induced nap.

Somehow, we seem to have lost Thanksgiving.  Christmas decorations show up in the stores before Halloween.  Christmas music is played all day everyday beginning November 1 and Christmas movies are on every channel.  By the 2nd of November, my Facebook and Instagram accounts are filled with pictures of Christmas trees that are twinkling in my friends’ living rooms. And then there are the teacher accounts…teachers bemoaning the fact that though it is only November 3rd, the Christmas frenzy behavior has already begun.  And why wouldn’t it?  Everywhere children go, all they see and hear is Christmas.  Not the religious meaning of the holiday, but the glitz, glamor, and greed.

So, yes, I miss the “over the river and through the woods” Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving reminds me to be grateful for what I have and to do for others…to be the good in someone else’s life.  During November, the Earth slows down and settles into the coming of Winter. Days are shorter, trees drop their leaves, animals hibernate or migrate. Nature knows it is time to settle in.  November is a chance for us all to step back, take a deep breath, and focus on how we fit into the world. Everything calms down, so why do we race into December and all the “crazy” that seems to go with it?

Let me say again, I refuse to ignore Thanksgiving.  I love shopping for just the perfect, plump turkey. I get excited to smell pumpkin pies baking. I make bread for the stuffing, I simmer autumn spices in the potpourri pot, I fill my house with pumpkins and gourds, and I relax. I spend time focusing on my gratitude…and I have so much to be thankful for.

Will I enjoy Christmas?  Absolutely, but I refuse to sacrifice this time to just be still.  December will come and I will put up a tree, wrap gifts, and enjoy the twinkle.  For now, I am content to be fully present in my November. 

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