Category: Inspiration

Within each of us, greatness resides

IMG_1032If you are one of the 25 million or so who have viewed the YouTube video of Susan Boyle’s amazing performance on the show Britain’s Got Talent, you know that she is living proof of this. When this unassuming, slightly frumpy, and somewhat quirky middle-aged woman from a village in Scotland walked out onto the stage, she walked into the hearts of viewers all over the world. We all assumed we were in for a terrible joke of a performance. Yet, when she opened her mouth and sang, we all got goosebumps. Her choice of song was so perfect – I Have a Dream – from Les Miserables.

So, today my question is, how do I recognize and tap into the talent, gifts, promises that have been given me? Oprah (she doesn’t even need a last name, does she?) and I have a lot in common; we are close in age, we’re both female, both spiritually curious, love to read, enjoy talking, like to figure out what makes people tick. Yet, look at how different we are! Hmmm…

I believe that God did not plan for me to live my life as an ordinary, plain, generic version of myself. I also believe that within me resides something greater, but I’m not even sure where to begin looking. I was in high school and college in the sixties. The Vietnam War was at its peak and the world was in upheaval. Many of my “hippie” friends dropped out to “find themselves”. Well, one thing I know for sure is that I don’t have to look far… where ever I  go, there I am.  And yet, I was telling a friend the other day that “just being me” is a huge challenge, because I am constantly struggling to define who “me” is!

Just like our one-of-a-kind appearance, each of us has been gifted with unique abilities and talents. There are folks out there making a fortune writing psychology books and self-help blogs for people like me. Millions of us are spending countless hours trying to develop our spirituality…that essence of who we are that connects us to God and the Universe.

Is there a “one size fits all” formula for this? No. I think one thing that makes the difference is an unwaivering belief in self. Greatness doesn’t just happen – it is cultivated. People who have successfully tapped into their gifts will tell you that they never doubted themselves. They totally believed that they would win, achieve, succeed, invent, become. Recently I watched a biography of Oprah. One scene stands out in my mind. She often talks about her grandmother. She recalled how her grandmother was attempting to show her how to wash clothes. My “aha” moment came when Oprah said she wasn’t paying any attention because somehow, deep within herself, even at the age of four, she knew she would not need to know that.

So there’s the rub. It begins with belief. I have spent a lifetime doubting myself. I doubt my intelligence, my worthiness, my appearance, my skill. I have been a chameleon – being and doing what others expect of me. My challenge now is not to develop my talent, but to believe that it is already there.

Turn that frown upside down…Smile!

Mother Teresa is quoted as saying, “We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.” I blogged about faces yesterday, and have continued to think about the power of our expressions. So, today I want to explore a bit more…

Don’t you just love it when someone smiles at you? Smiles are like the bubbles in a soda – they make your face sparkle! When someone smiles at me, I just automatically smile back. And then, as I walk away, that happy feeling follows me. 

One of the first things a baby learns to do is to recognize the important faces in their lives – momma, daddy, grandma or grandpa, brother, sister. Remember the first time your baby smiled up at you and you knew they recognized you?  That is such a special memory, isn’t it?  Smiles never lose their value; they are important to you and to your child.

Now, let’s do a reality check.  You work all day and afternoons are terrible for working moms. I remember when my son was little, I referred to the time between 4:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. as “Arsenic Hours”. There were days when taking poison seemed like a good alternative…kids crying, homework battles, dinner burning on the stove, phone ringing, toys all over the floor.  You know the drill. Looking back, I got so caught up in “getting things done”, I forgot to stop and enjoy my time with my child.  Before I could really relax, it was bath and bedtime and a new round of arguing began.  I mean, how many times do you really have to remind your child to use soap?

So, what is my message today?  I guess it is that I want to encourage you to welcome your child home each day with a genuine “I’m so glad to see you!” smile.  Focus on the positive.  The toys won’t be littering the floor forever; and I promise there are days when I can’t wait to have a grandchild so I can spend time stepping over toys again.

I was watching TV one afternoon and heard Dr. Phil say that we teach others how to treat us.  In other words, we create the atmosphere we live in.   Smiling makes that atmosphere so much more pleasant.  When we smile, people smile back.  We can’t resist; it’s human nature.  Maya Angelou said, “If you only have one smile in you, give it to the people you love.” So promise me you’ll take a second to give your child a big grin and see what happens.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…

FACES…When children first begin to express themselves through art, the biggest element of the person they draw is the face. Why? Because that is most important to them! Yes, from the time we are born, we respond to the faces around us. I often wonder why I respond so warmly to some faces.  I think it is because when those faces appear in my line of vision, I feel like I belong. Some faces just make me feel loved and safe; those faces belong to the people in my life who bring me joy.  

Faces are the canvas of our soul, our emotional billboard. Emotions don’t happen in isolation. My emotions are a direct result of my connections with those around me. If my best friend forgets my birthday, I feel sad. When my child gets a promotion, I feel proud. If one of my students masters a difficult task, I feel joy. But my emotions are not one-sided, not just about me responding to those around me. I want others to respond to me too!

And I am not alone…social media exists because we want to share our feelings with others. Glance through those posts, pics, and tweets on your device. What do you see? I see a collection of events my friends hope I will react to. I know when I share something, I check back to see how many “likes” or “retweets” I have. Somehow, lots of “likes” validate my feelings. 

When I think about my emotions…joy, disdain, grief, excitement…each is reflected in my facial expression, which in turn impacts those around me. So, my face and my expression plays a big part in how my life unfolds. My children, my friends, my students, my pets all look carefully at my face to get feedback on how they are doing. It doesn’t cost anything to smile, and the reward is great. Have you realized that it is almost impossible not to return a smile you are given? Try it. Then take a moment to think about the faces you love and celebrate the joy they bring to your life. Indeed, we are richly blessed. 

God’s Paintbrush

A Perfect Balance ~ Beautiful, not Barren!

IMG_0765My sister is headed home to New Mexico today.  I miss her already! I am already counting the days until I am on my way to see her! Every time I head to New Mexico I am amazed at the landscape. I live in south Georgia where it is hot, humid, lush, green, mosquito-filled, and slow moving. New Mexico is where the rest of my family lives.  As I fly into the Albuquerque Airport I always marvel at how brown the landscape appears. However, in spite of its seemingly drab appearance, the desert is anything but boring or barren. It is dotted with some of the most amazing structures nature has ever produced.

I’ve decided that the desert is a misunderstood landscape. During the day it is barren and dry and hot. People avoid it. I know I associate it with scorpions, snakes, bad Westerns, and thirst. Yet, each time I visit New Mexico I am reminded that there is a reward at the end of a day in the blazing desert heat … sunset. The sun sparkles off the desert sands and produces some of the most breath-taking sunsets I have ever seen. I feel as though the sunset is sort of your reward for suffering through the heat of the day.

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The sun glistens and sparkles as it hits the many different minerals that make up the desert soil and the reflections create amazing and vivid colors. The mountains, plateaus, buttes, and other craggy landforms make stark profiles against the blazing colors of the early sunset. As the sun recedes, the colors fade to soft, beautiful pastels. Our Universe is in perfect balance.  Yes, I love New Mexico because my family is there, but also because God’s paintbrush has swept across it in a most wonderful way.

 

The Call of the Sea

IMG_1188Here I am at our get-away house.  I LOVE being here near the ocean ~ I love looking out at the water and seeing blue herons and egrets. I wait all year for the pretty pink roseate spoonbills to arrive.  Being here always makes me wonder, what is it about being near the water that soothes our souls and keeps us yearning to return? Have you been to the beach lately?  People flock to the beaches! What is it about this most basic substance that we find so fascinating?

There is much about the ocean that we should fear… I know how dangerous water can be… we all do, and yet the fear never keeps me away. I find the ocean so humbling. When I stand and look out at the endless water, searching for where the sea and sky meet on the horizon, I feel small and insignificant in the big scheme of things. At the same time, I feel blessed to be part of this amazing Universe.

On a purely scientific basis, I get it… our human body cannot survive without water.  W.H. Auden put it very clearly when he said, “Thousands have lived without love, not one without water.”  But it is more than that. People constantly write about the fascination we have for something as simple and fundamental as water.  We can trace our connection to water all throughout human history in art, music, architecture, and literature; certainly wiser men than I have written astute words and poetic verses about it.  Kurt Vonnegut is quoted as saying, “In the water, I am beautiful.”

So, what is it we are truly seeking at the water’s edge? Perhaps it is a mental “holiday” from the stress of our technology-driven lives. Perhaps we need to reconnect with nature in its original state. When I listen to the rhythmic sound of the waves rolling in, I feel my mind and my whole body take a sigh and relax.  What I know for sure is that when the sea speaks, my soul is satisfied.

 

 

Social Animals

Have you ever found yourself sitting in the middle of the “holding pen” at the airport? When I was there a few weeks ago, I was struck by the level of noise…human noise. I tend to keep to myself. I’m one of those folks that follow the rules…you know, those unwritten rules like, “You don’t talk in elevators.”

However, that rule definitely does not apply at airports. Complete strangers all around me were striking up conversations, “Where are you headed?” “Where are you from?” “Who are you visiting?” “Have you been there before?” “Let me show you pictures of my ______(fill in the blank: grandbaby, dog, Halloween costume…).

Apparently the airport is a place where it is acceptable to talk nonstop to people you don’t know about stuff that nobody really cares about. What drives that behavior? Why do we have such a strong need to connect with those around us? Does the shared human experience reassure us that we’re “okay”? What is it about the temporary circumstance of waiting at an airport, sitting at the stadium, or standing in line at the theme park that makes us open up?
I believe that each of us value the comfort we feel when a common experience is shared and a connection is made. We were created to be social animals and as such, we rely on our five senses to let us know where we stand. When we feel another’s touch, hear a comforting voice, smell our mother’s favorite perfume, share a meal, or see people standing in line beside us, we are reassured that we fit in, we are safe, we are accepted.  I am constantly reminded that, in spite of the sad and scary daily news reports, ~people are good…~people are caring…~people are kind.  And therefore, I am blessed.

Change…

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 No one likes change but a wet baby…Why? Change is hard. However, in order to change ourselves, we have to change our thinking. We need to rescript our self-image. For many of us, when we hit record on our self-talk and then play back the recording, what do we hear? Too often it is negative: “My skin is bad”…”My thighs have cellulite”…”My feet are too wide for pretty shoes”…”I am plain…I am …I am…I am…”

The list of negative descriptors goes on and on. So, the first challenge is how to rewrite the messages we send ourselves. Why? Because everything that follows, ” I am…” is manifested in our lives. What are some positive statements? “I am capable”… “I am organized”… “I am trustworthy”… “I am kind”…”I am efficient”.

Hmmm…closer, but still not on target. These are more about what we do than who we are. Let’s try again. “I am lovable”…”I am smart”…”I am pretty”. Okay…those sound better. Problem is, we struggle to believe the positive about ourselves. So, what is the solution? Make these statements a mantra. Repeat them until they become part of our emotional “muscle memory”. Like an athlete, we must keep practicing until it becomes the norm.  Cheers!

Show and Tell for Adults

When I was a little girl I used to love Show and Tell; Show and Tell was on Friday and I couldn’t wait to see what everyone would bring. Meanwhile, I would worry all week about what I should pack up and lug off to school that day.
The kids in my class brought in lots of cool stuff…stuffed animals missing an ear, dolls with hideous hair sticking up or falling out, shiny new galoshes, a rhinestone necklace from the carnival, a gerbil that bit somebody, a hideous lime green sweater knitted by someone’s grandma…the list goes on and on.
In spite of all the ridiculous stuff, we just loved getting a sneak peak into the lives of our friends. And at the same time we loved deciding what little tidbit of our lives we would share each week.

Travel forward fifty years…here I am doing the same exact thing! Yup, Facebook is really just Show and Tell for adults. Admit it, you love looking at the pictures and videos of what’s going on in your friends’ lives. You love reading and commenting about what’s going on with everybody. And I bet I’m right…you like deciding what to share on Facebook.

We are social animals and our connections are so important. Those connections reassure us that we are “okay”. So, to all my friends on Facebook…keep sharing. I love feeling close to you even though so many of you are far away!